In this module, we’ll look at why neurodivergent people don’t just tend to experience one burnout episode in life, but might find themselves trapped in a cycle of periodically experiencing burnout. Understanding your personal cycle can be the first step to breaking it. 

As we’ve already seen, every stressors can be massively amplified for neurodivergent people. Coping with everyday demands, dealing with relationships, managing work and family responsibilities can all take a massive toll and require so much energy that we simply reach a point we can’t go on. And, if you just take a minute to stop and think about this, the fact that we end up in a cycle of burnout and recovery, and then end up in another point of burnout at a later date, makes complete sense. 

Anyone can experience burnout. If someone is in a job where they’re under constant pressure, or they’re coping with looking after someone with an illness or significant needs, or they’re in an abusive relationship and feel they lack the capacity to leave, all of these situations – and many others – can cause such significant, ongoing, relentless stress that someone could reach a point of exhaustion, fatigue and anxiety to the point where they can’t cope any more. 

In those types of situations, if they ongoing stressful situation is resolved and the person is allowed enough time to recover and heal, they should reach a point where they feel better. And although burnout can have lasting effects, if the original source of stress is removed, there’s no reason that someone should experience another severe burnout episode. 

This is different in the case of neurodivergent people. Most of the time, unless we have a level of awareness regarding our neurodivergence and what triggered our meltdown, we return to situations that look different on the surface but where we have the same underlying issues around executive functioning, masking and emotional regulation. To share my experience, I often felt that if I moved to a different job I’d never experience burnout again. I’d do a runner, start fresh and things would be great for a few weeks. Then the same problems would surface. Because I didn’t know what was causing the problems, I’d end up stuck in the same old pattern. After a few months, the signs would creep in and after a couple of years I was collapsing. 

I can’t stress enough how importance self-awareness is. Simply knowing that you are neurodivergent and that burnout is very real is enough to start breaking free of the cycle. This self-awareness is a wake-up call. It’s a sign that we need to significantly change our situation, not just in terms of shifting the focus to a new job, partner or house, but in terms of acknowledging that some situations, and our responses to them, are always likely to keep us in the burnout cycle. 

Instead of hoping for things to be different, if we keep doing more of the same, we need to look for patterns. Are there particular people situations that have always drained us to the point of feeling unable to cope? This could be around taking on more responsibilities than feel manageable, for instance feeling that you have to help family members on top of managing a job. Or it could be around becoming involved with so many things in the community that you feel stretched way beyond your capacity. It might be that you work in a field that requires a high degree of organisation and that you consistently struggle with staying organised in the way you’re expected to. Or it could be that your workplace requires you to take on extra-curricular, social activities which always end up leaving you overwhelmed and feeling unable to cope. Your pattern will be unique to you and recognising what it is provides an insight into some of the more significant changes you might want to consider putting into place. 

Remember, whilst you might experience a temporary relief from burnout with some time off work or a period of recovery, it’s often not enough to remove you from the cycle. Recognising your needs, thinking about how they can be met, and considering longer term changes in how you live your life can all be necessary measures to break free of the burnout cycle.