Neurodivergence encompasses a wide range of experiences, including autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and more. When we're neurodivergent, our brains are different to most people's. These differences affect everything from how we communicate, to how we experience sensory input, to how we experience our emotions. Experiencing a more intense emotional response to a situation is no different to experiencing a more intense sensory response to a situation, but we often feel more shameful about our emotional experiences than we do about other aspects of our experience.

On a personal note, gaining a simple understanding of how the brain works, and how there are fundamental differences in how many neurodivergent people's brains respond emotionally to situations, has helped me move towards a point of greater acceptance.

How Neurodivergent Neuroscience Shapes Emotional Processing

When we think of the brain, we need to think of different regions all working together. There are parts of our brain that alert us to dangerous situations. Parts that make sense of situations more logically and help quickly "talk us down" and parts that memorise the situation - so we can remember to refer back to it in the future. In neurodivergent individuals, the structure and function of these regions may differ, which means that we have a different emotional response and recovery time to most people.

We'll start off looking at the amygdala. The amygdala, often called the brain’s “emotional alarm system,” plays a critical role in processing emotions like fear and excitement. In many neurodivergent people, the amygdala may be more sensitive, leading to heightened emotional intensity. For example, a small inconvenience might feel overwhelming, or a moment of joy might be extraordinarily euphoric.

Another part of the brain we want to consider is the prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex helps regulate emotions by applying logic and context. In neurodivergent individuals, this region might communicate differently with the amygdala, making emotional regulation more challenging. This can result in difficulty “shutting off” intense emotions or recovering from emotional highs and lows.

Understanding these differences can help create strategies for managing emotions that align with the unique ways neurodivergent brains function.

Dan Siegel’s Hand Model of the Brain

Dan Siegel’s hand model of the brain offers a simple and visual way to understand how the brain processes emotions. Here’s an easy-to-follow explanation:

1.     The Fist as the Brain: Start by making a fist with your thumb tucked inside your fingers. Your fist represents the brain, and each part of your hand corresponds to a different brain region. The wrist is the brain stem, responsible for basic bodily functions like breathing and keeping your heart functioning.

o   The Thumb (Limbic System): Your thumb, tucked into your palm, represents the limbic system, which includes the amygdala. This is the emotional center of your brain, responsible for reactions like fear, joy, or anger and sensing danger and communicating this to the rest of the body.

o   The Fingers (Prefrontal Cortex): The fingers wrapped over your thumb represent the prefrontal cortex, the brain’s logical and regulatory center. It helps you stay calm and think rationally during emotional situations.

2.     Flipping Your Lid: When emotions become overwhelming, the “fingers” (prefrontal cortex) may lift, exposing the “thumb” (amygdala). This is called “flipping your lid”—a state where the logical part of your brain is less active, and emotions take over. Until the pre-frontal cortex - the fingers - have connected back with the emotional brain centre, it's impossible to feel in control and to calm our emotional brain centres back down with rational reasoning.

3.     Bringing the Fingers Back Down: We often take longer to bring the fingers back down, so we're caught in that emotional state for a longer period of time, which can feel more and more intense.

As well as having a more reactive amygdala, we also seem to have a weaker or slower connection between the pre-frontal cortext (the fingers) and the limbic system (the emotional brain, or the palm of the hand). The positive and logical feedback loop simply doesn't work as quickly or effectively as it does for many people.

It's often difficult for us to get across to other people that our experience really is vastly different. I remember doing my initial training as a therapist and started learning about different strategies, like breathing exercises and mindfulness, and much as I saw the value in these emotional regulation strategies, I also realised there seemed to be something very different in my experience to my fellow students. I heard that you should be able to regulate your emotions in about 3 minutes, and sat there explaining that it could take me hours of being in a completely constant, extremely heightened emotional state, which just wouldn't shift, no matter what I did. I understand now that not only was my response more heightened, my logical brain just couldn't reconnect with my emotional brain.

Knowing these things doesn't rewire your brain, but it can help validate your experience and help you accept that what you are going through is completely real. Over time, that awareness can help you feel more in control and empowered when your response is perhaps more intense and different to other people around you.

Reflection: Your Emotional Experience

To wrap up this module, take some time to reflect on the following questions:

1. How do my emotional responses differ from those of people around me?
2. Are there specific situations where I notice that my feelings are stronger, more muted, or expressed differently than others might expect?
3. How do I think my sensory sensitivities or unique thought patterns influence the way I experience emotions?

Record your thoughts in your reflection journal or directly in the course platform. These insights will provide a foundation for the next steps in your journey of emotional understanding and growth.

By exploring the intersection of neurodivergence and emotions, you’ve taken an important step in building a deeper connection to yourself and your experiences. Remember, emotions are not your enemy—they’re your brain’s way of communicating with you. Together, we’ll continue to uncover strategies and tools to navigate them with confidence.

Next up, we'll look at Your Emotional Timeline and Recognizing Patterns in Your Feelings